Birthdays

For my birthday Jessica got me this card:

Then I got me shock collars for Randi and Earl.  They came on Thursday and on Saturday morning I sent out invitations via Paperless Post to the Inaugural Shock o Rama.  The Shock o Rama had 100% attendance and after some bottles of wine I collared those two up and we tried the collars.  There was 100% better behavior and about 95% less humping when the vibration button was depressed.   There were brief moments when I thought I might be a bad person, but I gave that up pretty quickly.

Yesterday Romeo and I left Mantua for the baby's first birthday party.  My mom had planned a "Cars" birthday theme (based largely on the fact that Max likes the Cars themed wipey dipey box my mom keeps on the table next to his high chair.)   My mom had also made Max a special Cars shirt with his name embroidered on it that matched his checkered shoes with Cars iron-ons, a Cars bib, a Cars cake, Cars cupcakes and a bear cake just for Max because my mom doesn't do anything just a little bit.  

One!!

On Wednesday Max turned ONE!  I wanted to make him a party hat, but it started looking like a dunce hat, so I gave up.  This guy didn't have a cake to eat for reasons I can't explain and because he's going to have two cakes at his birthday party on Sunday.  He's over sitting around and is crawling and pulling himself up all over the place.  I didn't give him any of his presents because I'm a big fat loser and hadn't got them wrapped, but the good thing is that since he is only ONE, he doesn't give a flying hoot and will be just as happy to have them on Sunday.  Max and I looked at the photo album of him when he was born, but he was mostly interested in trying to eat the pages.  I was mostly interested in not crying.  Neither one of us was very successful.  He is one very silly, very happy baby boy.  

Big Week

This week has been pretty darn busy.

Monday:  Sara and I went to Total Wine and DSW, where I got a pair of sandals that have a heel!  Mrs. Murphy had told me that I should not throw away all of my high heeled shoes even though I felt like I might not ever want to wear them ever again and, of course, Mrs. Murphy was correct.  Yea me!  Using my Amazon.com gift card from Jessica, I purchased a shock collar for one Randi Unadopted and Earl.  I'm pretty excited about it.

Thursday:  This guy decided to start crawling.  He's a little whiney about it, but it's just in time for his first birthday on Wednesday.  Yea Max!

Friday:  I worked from home because I had some things that I need to get done and which required some concentration.  I forgot that the cleaning ladies were coming, so I left and went to Verona, knowing full well that quiet and distraction free is not possible because some people in Verona do not know how to be quiet.  Max and I practiced crawling, practiced playing cars, and walked out to the garden where he stood at the chain link fence for 15 minutes.  He has a standing Friday appointment with special teachers who come and evaluate him to see if he's behind in any subjects since he didn't make it all nine months inside my sister's belly.  My mom got him dressed for his teachers in the only appropriate color to wear on Friday at school.

Then, I went to in to work to finish up some of my work in the afternoon and of course then Sara and Jessica came over for Friday Night.  I used my new Dutch oven to make chicken in wine and I put the left overs in a container and put the lid on the container.  Earl was not to be out done and just took the whole container outside.  I found him before he managed to eat his way through.

Sara saves the container.

Without spilling her wine.

Punctured

Saturday:  Sara and I found the rest of the skeleton on our walk.  At breakfast Bill told me to stop laughing at him because that is why old people hate young people.  I just didn't think downloading Google Chrome was a decision one need to research extensively or reflect on for days.

When I got home the Duck was having lunch with two gigantic crows (ravens).  They flew away when I saw them, but were quickly replaced by Mr. Squirrel who seems to be visiting the Duck rather often.  I guess she's quite the party Duck.  Maybe this is the reason the Little Backyard always looks tore up.  And now that I think about it, I have found random bottle tops out there and I haven't been drinking any beer.  After that I worked for a bit and then spent some quality time sorting fabric and getting my sewing room actually ready for some sewing.

  

 

Today:  Today, Sara, Bill and I went on a hike in the hills and I made waffles and then I spent 10 minutes picking up dog poop.  Yea Me!  I wanted to start slow because I was afraid I would get worn out pretty quick picking up after the dogs.  I did, but I guess I no longer have an excuse to not do it.  Sigh.  

Unmentionables

When I got home today after the utterly disappointing experience of the Zac Brown Band concert this weekend, I unpacked.  I was nearly done when I looked up and found Clark standing there, draped in my underwear.  It's hard to see in this picture but he has his head through one leg and his other leg through the other.  I don't know how this happened.

Cake

There's not really been anything that exciting go on this week, except since I was on Spring Break from the college I was just running around instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  Friday when Sara and Jessica came over for Friday Night, Jessica brought three pieces of cake for my birthday.  I was pretty excited about it because I wasn't sure I was going to get any cake this weekend.  And I'm going to eat it all.

Bunnies

Yesterday I snuck over to Verona so I could deliver some books and a lion, which I thought was a dopey looking dog until my dad said he thought it was a lion based on its mane and tail.  Once I looked more closely I had to agree that I had been unsuccessful at distinguishing between a lion and a doggie, and therefore had to switch, mid-play, the sounds I was making for the lion.  This guy is not interested in crawling.  Like staying all nine months in your momma's belly, crawling is for babies.  He wants to walk.  After we put him on the grass, which was met with marginal success, he walked all the way into the house holding onto my hands, at which time I had to lay down from bending over.  He needs to grow a few more inches before walking is going to be comfortable for me.

Investigative Reports

Sometime between Wednesday and Thursday there was another theft in the F-Wing.  We called all the appropriate authorities, but while we were waiting for them to show up, I decided to take Scooby down from his perch in my closet thinking he might be able to catch an early lead and crack the case.

Scooby at the scene of the crime.

Inspecting the lock for forced entry.

Interviewing witnesses.

Writing his report.

Investigating who turned off our refrigerator.

Ugh

I didn't go to work today because I'm sick.  With what I'm not sure.  It feels like a hangover: headache, chills, fever, dizziness and aches all over, but I think when you haven't been drinking it's called the flu.  (I have not been drinking.)  I've been in bed or on the couch or asleep in the bed or asleep on the couch for the past three days.  The dogs have been beyond themselves with excitement.  I mean, I'm participating in their most favorite activities: sleeping on the bed or sleeping on the couch.   Only my dad who brought a big bag of dog food yesterday was more beloved.

Being sick meant that I was unable to go take Verona some books.  I raided my stash of children's books at school (which are mine, because I got grants for them, in case you think I'm stealing from school) so that I could take him my most favorite books.  Plus let's be honest, once he can start actually reading I'm sure the "funny looking" words will just cause problems and I'll take them back.

Some of my most favorite books:

Toupie aime Toupie

in which Toupie falls in love with himself.

Un ami pour Toupie

in which Toupie finds a worm and dresses him up so he'll be his friend.

Toupie a peur

in which an ant climbs on top of Toupie, inadvertently scares him and then intentionally does

 a danse, pour consoler Toupie.

I don't know what Toupie is, but he sure has some great adventures.

The only other thing I've done this weekend is fall in love with David Tutera.  I didn't think that there could be an antidote to the jaded, casino floor desolation feeling that inevitably comes after watching Bridezillas, but David Tutera...he made me cry.  So did the Jason Aldean video "Tatoos on this Town," and I've already seen that a bunch of times, so I think it must have been the non-alcohol induced hangover (flu.)