Me and My Pack of Dogs: February 2013

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Same Day

I got some great pictures of the doves in my tree this morning. By this afternoon you wouldn't even know that we woke up to a snow covered valley, but since the college was closed as well I have had a fabulous day!

Yep, the same day.

Icy Conditions Day!

It's snowing in the desert! The best part of a snow/icy conditions day is that they have to make the decision at 5am before the buses go out and everything looks like looming disaster, but by noon all of the snow is mostly melted and you can do whatever you want. That's what I thought anyways, but it's snowing again! Right now! I can't wait to go over and play with Max in the snow. The only thing that could make today better is if classes are cancelled at VVC and since they shut down the campus last week because of something that happened in Big Bear, one can only hope.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Domesticity

I have decided that today I am going to be Betty Crocker Happy Homemaker. First, I am not going to spend any time on Pinterest looking at pictures of Betty Crocker Happy Homemaker projects which will free up an enormous amount of time to actually be Betty Crocker Happy Homemaker. Next, I am going to make waffles, cookies, a three hour soup and for some reason I have decided to commit myself to trying out a recipe for pain à l'ancienne which has a crazy amount of steps. I'm also going to try to watch some TV, go for a walk, and get some work done.

I will report back later.

Photos

I'm missing two days. I suck.

name 2.7.2013
I said, "Gretchen, can you put French IV on there too?" and she basically told me to go stuff myself; that I was lucky it didn't say Mrs. Thompson

entrance 2.11.2013
I've got big hopes I'll meet some kind of man by where my class is at the college.

Love is 2.14.2013

Inside the fridge 2.15.2013
The supermarket fairy did not come to my house this week.

perfect 2.16.2013
Everything planned

In your hand 2.17.2013

Something you don't like 2.17.2013
I don't like grading papers

Fake Valentines

On Thursday I got presents from my fake husband at school.

When I arrived there was a heart of fish on my desk. I felt pretty special until I realized that Gretchen had received the same gift. While it's fine for him to have a real wife, I have to draw the line at fake polygamy.

Knowing my fake husband's like of goldfish crackers I had already made him this card:

Possibly encouraged by a student who may or may not understand the exact fakeness of our relationship, my fake husband brought me a flower and chocolate and was terribly disappointed that I was not in my room in front of all of my students so that he could get down on one knee and ask me to be his valentine in front of everyone. (I was glad for small miracles because I would have turned super red.) Earlier in the day someone had sent me a "singing gram" and I had to suffer through three high school boys singing me some corny love song from a secret admirer. Awkward.

I also got this card in my mailbox, clearly made by a three year old without the attention span to spell out Valentine's.

This was not my gift, but this guy was the best behaved student all day.

After work I went to see my real valentine who has been super sick and who had to get an antibiotic shot three days in a row and who has double ear infections and who has been throwing up all week. I thought that my gift of Mr. Potato Head would make him feel better, and it did for about 30 seconds. What did make him feel better was trying out his stuntman moves. Me and my dad thought it was hysterical, which is why my mom declared Max needed a bath so she could leave the room and ignore me and my dad.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Press Release

For Immediate Release

The Saratoga Animal Shelter is pleased to announce the opening of its new Geriatric Treatment and Wellness Center. The new geriatric wing is conveniently located on the east side of the shelter in the Little Backyard. Currently the Geriatric Wing has two beds, but offers patients a smaller yard so as not to get lost, privacy and separation from bigger dogs who might wish to knock the geriatric patients over, a small patch of grass, concrete to keep the patients from getting out and early access to the sun so as to sunbathe early in the morning.

That in Which the Hapless Heroine Goes in a Bounce House

Saturday me and my party crashing budding, Maximus, went to a birthday party. The birthday party was for the son of this guy that used to be in band with me and my sister and with whom my mother had some kind of friendship. They are people I once used to have daily contact with in school, but who are not my friends. My mom and dad, having gone to Hemet on purpose in the motor home, left me to take Max to the birthday party.

We were late because somebody was busy taking a nap and when I walked in you could see all the family like "who the fuck is that?" I announced myself loudly, "I'm Shirley's daughter. I brought the baby!" As it turned out Max and the birthday boy were the only small children there. We came in and I suffered through the same awkward conversation I probably had at Max's birthday party a year ago. "Are you still teaching?" "And what are you doing?" "How are the boys?" "What are your kids doing now?" We were all raised properly and so we all pretended to care about what we were saying to each other.

Then there was the bounce house and the grandma said, "You can go in there with him- show him what to do. If I could go in, you could go in." I've never been in a bounce house in my life, being a person who generally does not like to fall down I'm sure I wouldn't have like it as a child and I knew the bounce house was probably not a smart idea as an adult, but I didn't want to be weaker than a grandma and also I didn't want Max to be bounce house ignorant because Aunt Beth has back issues. The guy's got so many challenges already it hardly seemed fair to add to them.

Max is not a good jumper yet. At gymnastics he does some kind of foot shuffle thing when he's supposed to be jumping on the trampoline. He met the bounce house with a good dose of caution and whining, but quickly took to bouncing and even got the big kids to bounce him super high. I was super vigilant because Max throws up easily and his father said he had thrown up his breakfast and all I could see was that guy barfing all over the bounce house. Gross.

Max did not throw up and was by far the best at hitting the piñata with the stick. Probably because my mother bought him a T-ball set which he uses in the backyard. We had a great time at the birthday party and then we came home and watched Sesame Street and I wanted to take a pain pill, but thought that was reckless in case I needed to have my wits about me in case of emergency in the middle of the night.

Photos

I'm missing two days. One because I got all off on my photos one week and had to make up and forgot it and the other because I know which picture I want to take but it's at school.