Mon agrafeuse à MOI!

How much do I love this stapler?  Enough that when I got back to work and discovered it missing that I went into what can only be described as a "funk."  Enough that I asked everyone, "Have you seen my stapler? My stapler???  The one I 'borrowed' from the Women's Resource Center at Fresno State 14 years ago?  My stapler I thought I would keep for the rest of my life?  My stapler??"  Enough that I keep it closed up in its own special drawer and I don't let anyone else use it.  Enough that months ago when I discovered my mom had put it in another room, I grabbed it and yelled, "NO ONE TAKES MY SPECIAL STAPLER!  NO ONE!  THIS STAPLER DOESN'T LEAVE THIS DRAWER. DON'T TOUCH MY STAPLER, MOM!"  Enough that when I rediscovered it, I nearly cried, but settled on taking its picture in case it ever goes missing again and I need to put out BOLO posters.  Just for the record, I want to be buried with this stapler.

Portrait

Somebody wouldn't sit still.  (Hint:  it wasn't me.)

Official Sponsors

If I ever lose my job counting to ten 50 times in a class period, I want to become the person responsible for product placement on either The Glades or Hawaii 5-O and I'm willing to chose either one since both of the guys are pretty hot. As such, the Saratoga Animal Shelter has decided to fund itself entirely on product placement.  Voici a day in our lives.

4:45am:  I get up and makes Folgers Dark Blend coffee  "Man, Earl, I sure do love coffee."
5:49am:  I feed the duck, "Do you want some Old Roy chicken scratch?  Don't you go on sharing it with all of your bird friends now."
5:50M:  I put the dogs out using Old Roy medium sized dog bones, "You guys want an Old Roy medium sized dog bones?  You gotta sit!"
6:00am:  Earl eating, "Man this Old Roy dog food is delicious.  Randi, don't you just love it?"
6:30am:  Various birds exclaim, "Old Roy is our favorite!"
10:00am:  Clark sits inconspicuously by the Old Roy dog food.
(10:01-4:49:  Who knows what  the fuck goes on around here.)
5:00pm:  I get home.  "Geez, you guys ate all of the Old Roy food?  You sure do love it!  Let me check my iPhone to see if we can get Dad to bring a new bag."  I check my iPhone inconspicuously swiping through all of the cool apps, like iLettres et Bordas Conjugaisons before coming to Contacts and calling my dad.  He answers on a clearly inferior phone.
6:00pm:  I make dinner.  It involves Ken's Light Creamy Cesar.  Earl looks longingly at the Ken's Light Creamy Cesar bottle on the counter.
6:10pm:  While eating, Randi needs to be let out and Earl takes my salad off of the table and licks all of the Ken's Light Creamy Cesar off of the lettuce.  His face is clearly covered in Ken's Light Creamy Cesar.

Brought to you by the sponsors of the Saratoga Animal Shelter:  My dad, Old Roy, iPhone and Ken's Light Creamy Cesar Dressing.

Buffet

Les Arcs en Ciel

This is what I saw when I opened the gate to go for my walk.  I did not make it beyond the gate because I had geography in college and know that rainbows indicate the presence of water and I figured water was not a good idea for me on my walk.

Tethered

I'm not sure how she did this with the cord to the iron.

Pre-Ordered

Today I went for my first walk without the cane entirely.  I didn't even take it.  As will all endurance events, the mental aspect is key.  I didn't go far because I knew I wasn't ready for that, but at least I went somewhere.  I still have 0 friends on dailymile.com.  I was hoping someone out there would have made an effort and taken pity on me and made me their friend.

In other big news, I have pre-orded Into the Silence, which you can see is a new book about Mount Everest!!  Very excited.

Book Reviews

The Long Run  Matt Long.  This NYPD firefighter and elite athlete got run over by a bus and was given very little chance of surviving the night.  This is his story.  The surgeries.  The rehab.  His recovery and eventually running the NYC Marathon and doing an Ironman.  I saw this guy on the Daily Show and bought the book right then.  If  you need some inspiration to get your ass off of the couch or if you are feeling sorry for yourself because of whatever, I think you should read this book.  Interesting and engaging.

The Second Son  Lee Child.  A Jack Reacher short story!  Little 13-year old Jack Reacher has moved to  Okinawa with his family.  His French grandpa is dying.  His worry-wart brother Joe has got his panties in a bunch about a test, there's a bully with a boil who wants to charge the boys to cross the road and Reacher's dad's men have lost a code book.  What is a boy to do?  Jack Reacher does what he knows how to do which is bust some heads, break some wrists, solve a crime and be a man whore or in this case a boy whore.

The Hard Way  Lee Child.  Jack Reacher is in NYC getting some coffee.  (Jack Reacher loves coffee.)  He inadvertently sees a ransom money pickup* and subsequently gets involved with some ex-military turned government security contractors.  Then, Jack Reacher busts some heads, breaks some wrists, shoots some people in the head, solves a crime and is a man whore.  Good fast past read.  And of course, I love me some Jack Reacher.

*A couple of years ago rendez-vous was a vocab word.  I heard this kid in the back say, "What's a rendez-vous?"  and his partner answered back, "You know it's where you leave the money when someone gets kidnapped: at the rendez-vous point."