The End of an Era

Oftentimes Sarah and I have this conversation, "Sarah, do you remember when we lived in Fresno?" We did. Sarah lived with Erinn and they would come and illegally visit me in my apartment. Sarah was a sprite little thing and if you tapped your chest she would spring up into your arms. She lived with some cats and a guy named creepy Jose. He was creepy and weird.

Now the only thing Sarah springs for is rolling over. I don't know how old she is. She's been with me ten years and Erinn thought she was six when she left her. Sarah refuses to say. But she used to be quite the little houdini and so I had to chicken wire the entire bottom of the fence because she would dig out. Now, as I'm removing my newly sprung "grass" in the back I've also decided to take down the chicken wire. I think I could leave the entire gate open and Sarah would just sit there. She's too old to think about digging out now.

However, her love of men has not changed. Once there's a guy over at the house, I don't exist. I'm sure she's just waiting for a man and once she gets one she'll feel like she has finally lived.

The Benefits of Yoga

Everyone takes a moment out of his or her busy day of mischief to do yoga.
Above: Earl in downdog.
Above: Earl takes a moment to unwind in mountain pose before beginning sun salutations.

My pack, er, family

The Pack and I have come up with a plan so that I don't have to work anymore. Step one of the plan is to get social security numbers for everyone in the pack. Step two, collect food stamps and social security. The Pack, er family and I know that there are some obvious concerns with this plan, mainly what if someone comes to check on my "kids." Not a problem because we will borrow some. There's some kids next door I'm sure I could borrow for the afternoon. We think it's a good plan. Randi and Earl are already practicing their signatures for their social security cards.

Slumber Party II

Emmah, unsure how to react in her new environment, decides camouflage is the best option.

Snickerdoodle Slumber Party!

For those who don't know, The Snickerdoodle is my mom's dog Emmah. She's a Goldendoodle; a designer dog. Hypoallergenic. Sensitive to hats. My "sister." The Snickerdoodle can not do a lot of things. She can not eat onions. She can not be outside in the dark and she can not be by herself. So tonight the pack is having a slumber party with The Snickerdoodle. Emmah had to come stay the night in case it started to snow and her feet got wet, then hypothermic and then had to be amputated. Because she's a designer dog, Emmah has a hard time even looking at Randi and Earl. They are beneath her and not worthy of her attention. My house is inferior because she doesn't have her toys or her box of bones or my mom to do what she wants.
My sister and I think my mom somehow has some kind of Snickerdoodle cam placed on Emmah, so she can see everything that we do with her when she's not around. If Emmah could talk every sentence would start with "I'm going to tell my mom" in a pretentious voice. Tonight I'm sure she's stock piling all of the injustices at my house: no cheese at dinner, nobody to hold her while she watches TV, Randi keeps trying to play and Earl went in her crate. (Of course she has a crate. Emmah can't sleep unless she's in the crate. She's not about to sleep in/on some highly inferior bed. Designer dogs deserve designer beds.)
The last time we had a slumber party with The Snickerdoodle, she took all of Clark's toys and put them in her crate. She brought sticks into my house. Then she took a bath in the dog's water and came in the house. Of course The Snickerdoodle loves water. Her lineage can probably be traced to Martha's Vinyard.

"Earl, what are you?"

Can there be any other more embarrassing question for a dog? Is that anyway for a dog waiting to get his sutures out to be greeted. What is he? He's a chiller when he's by himself. Bad when he's with Randi and not a Jack Russel Terrier. His best description is the back half of an Aikida.

Earl la Fleur

Earl la Fleur decided last night that the newly hung pots and pans posed an immediate threat and raised the Saratoga Animal Shelter Danger Alert to red. At 9:37pm he sounded the alert by barking in his most ferocious bark. I was in the spare room and when I heard this, I walked out and puzzled, had a brief moment of panic when I thought that maybe an intruder had entered the house and had been cornered in the kitchen by the ferocious Earl la Fleur. (I wasn't quite sure what an intruder would want in the kitchen because that's not where I keep my valuables.) However, when I peered around the corner I realized that Earl la Fleur was just barking at the pots and pans, which he watched me put up yesterday. It took about ten minutes before Earl was convinced enough to stop barking at the pots and pans.