First Day of Summer

My lumbar laminectomy and discectomy and fusion is temporarily scheduled for June after school gets out. I say temporarily because I could wimp out, the insurance could not approve or I could decide to do it earlier. June is going to be a busy month because within about three weeks, the Big Guy is going to retire and have a retirement party in which he has been explicitly told to make sure that there are single men there, I'm going to have major surgery and my sister's going to have her baby.

The doctor said that the problem is really my L3L4 discs and that they are slipping to the right and that is why I have so much pain on the right side. I will be in the hospital for three days. I'll be flat on my back for a week. Able to drive after three weeks and hopefully back to work at the beginning of school in August. He said that I should be back to walking pretty soon. He said I may not be able to mountain bike once I've had the surgery because it's a lot of bouncing. I'll give up mountain biking if it means I can walk again. I have to loose 600 lbs.

I'm going to set up a form so everyone can sign up for the days they are going to come bring me food, feed my dogs and duck and visit with me. Because I know that though surgery's a pretty big deal, my sister having a baby is an even more big deal and my momma's going to be busy with Baby and not me.

Kisser eBook Review

First, let me start with this is the first book that I downloaded free with my LA County Library card!! Sara, Jessica and I had a Nice Little Saturday, Saturday and dined at the Olive Garden, then made our way to get our library cards. Getting the book onto the Nook was a no brainer, once I read the directions all the way through. Before I read the directions it was frustrating. One of the downsides of my LA County Library card is that not all books are available when you want them, so you have to go on the waiting list. Unwilling to wait, I browsed through the available now books and came up with Kisser by Stuart Woods.

This is a book I am glad I didn't pay for. I thought it was a book that Sara recommended. I was hoping he was going to be my next Jack Reacher. A big negative on both those ideas. Stone Barrington is 'retired' cop and lawyer who has both a secretary and a maid. I think this book might appeal more to men. Scene: Stone meets with the undercover cop and the girl who is going to help her. They disappear in his house. He goes to look for them. Finds them naked in his bed. They say, "Want to join us?" Scene: Stone starts to get it on with his girlfriend and she has an orgasm before anything even happens. Stone's tired because he's sleeping with three ladies at the same time. Men, I think would prefer this book; whereas I'm like oh my God, this is ridiculous. It was a fast read. Since I didn't pay for it I might read more Stuart Woods books. I think they'd be great for a plane ride.

Without Fail eBook Review

I like Jack Reacher best when he knows who the bad guys are and kicks ass all throughout the book instead of only concentrated ass kicking at the beginning and end. In this book, Jack Reacher is first hired by his dead brother's ex-girlfriend to do a security audit for the Secret Service to see how vulnerable the Vice President-Elect is. He does. He finds holes because he is, of course, way smarter than the Secret Service. He subsequently starts 'consulting' with the Secret Service to see who is threatening the Vice President and subsequently starts sleeping with his dead brother's ex-girlfriend. I was disappointed in Jack Reacher because I didn't want him to go down that road. But he did. In typical Jack Reacher fashion, he was completely honest with her and said, "We both know how this is going to end." But who can resist the Jack Reacher? Certainly not me.

Update

I still have one duck. She seems traumatized and keeps honking. This morning I swear she was looking for EDub. I asked my dad if he thought she would be sad and he said no. But then he admitted that he doesn't know that much about duck feelings. Peggy said that poultry can get depressed. Great. Now I've got to find poultry Zoloft.

Minus One

The Saratoga Animal Shelter is now less one duck. When I got home and went to feed the ducks, PDub came blazing out from underneath the table with a lot to say. I couldn't find EDub. After looking everywhere in the Little Backyard, I went reluctantly to the Backyard and found her on the deck. I don't know how the dogs got her. I don't know how they got in the Little Backyard. I don't know. What I do know is that I am sad girl. Sad sad girl because she was so pretty and let me pet her. I am grateful that I cancelled my college classes because I was so tired and in pain that I found in her the daytime. I don't know how PDub will do without her.

Fat Old Men

Far be it for me to take pleasure in someone else's pain, but today Gretchen went to the doctor for her 'abnormally large toe' and was told that she has gout. I'm so excited by this information because I can't think of anyone who is less of a fat old man than Gretchen. Now we can be fat old men together!

This news comes at the perfect time because yesterday my doctor's referral lady called and said, "The doctor reviewed your CAT scan and it confirms that you have multiple bulging discs and so she wants to know if you're going to have the surgery." I said, "Ok, well first of all, I haven't talked to anyone about these new results and so I don't know if this is going to change what the doctor recommends as far as surgery and second, huh? Like I'm just supposed to decide over the phone that I want to have surgery?"

The CAT scan showed bulging discs pretty much all down my spine. It said, if you read between all of the medical jargon- you are a damn disaster. It confirms that my back hurts so much yesterday and today that I don't want to stand up or move anywhere today unless it's to take more pain medicine.

But back to the Fat Old Men Epidemic running rampant in the F Wing. This is obviously caused by some kind of Fat Old Men mold in our adjoined classrooms and I will be able to parlay this into a workman's comp issue and get my back fixed.

Critical Condition

It is uncertain if or how long Seymore will survive his most recent tumble.