One Week

I have been back to work now for one week and I can report that out of that week, school has kicked my ass every day.  I'm exhausted.  I'm so tired I can't sleep.  Yesterday I felt great.  At 3:00 I was like, "Wow, I'm kicking school's butt today.  I'm not even tired at all."  Then I had to stay for Back to School night, which in retrospect, maybe I should have tried to get out of because then I got my ass handed to me by Back to School night.  I cancelled my college class today because I was so tired I could barely walk to the car.  If I could have had someone drive me home and pick me up tomorrow I would have.  If I thought I could have gotten back up, I would have taken a nap in the closet in my room.  I'm going to assume that one day I will not be this tired, but it's not going to be this week.  Or next week because as of next week, I have three more classes to teach and 100 more students.  It's going to be some extra good times teaching six periods a day in a back brace.  I plan on crying a lot this year.

Today this kid came up to me and said urgently, "Mademoiselle, je peux poser une question en Anglais?" Et moi, j'ai répondu, "Oui."  I was expecting the usual, "I didn't understand my homework...Can I go to ____?  Is that poster really signed by Justin Bieber? " Not this kid.  This guy said in all seriousness, "Gandalf or Dumbledore?"  The silence that followed was me trying to figure out what the fuck he was talking about because I have only the vaguest comprehension of both those names.  I blinked three times, looked really tired and said, "I don't even think I could even attempt to chose."  Then he gave me a two minute argument on why Gandalf is clearly the right choice.  I said, "Well, I guess I could be persuaded by your eloquent argument.  Why don't you sit down and take out your cahier."  He was clearly disappointed in my unwillingness to participate in the nerdversation.

In other news baby Max is officially a Thompson, as he had to go Monday to the ER for three breathing treatments.  My dad said, "You're not officially a Thompson until you've been to the ER for a breathing treatment."  Poor little guy.  He's certainly the youngest Thompson to have an inhaler, aerochamber, nebulizer, mask and prescription for albuterol.  On the plus side, it's one more person with an inhaler.  I said to my dad, "How many refills does he have on that?"  Kaiser used to give 4-5 inhalers per prescription and it was much better than my lousy one per refill prescription.  I'm not saying I would steal the baby's inhaler; just that an extra inhaler around is never a bad idea.

Mon Week-end

This has been the most awesome weekend in quite a while; mostly because I've done several things that did not involve being on the couch in my house. Friday I made it through work. I'd be lying if I said I was anything but absolutely exhausted. I also made it to book club where I discovered that perhaps I don't have to worry about being kicked out of Married Ladies Book Club for improper behavior. Saturday I went with Gretchen to the lake outside of Barstow. (What? You didn't know there were lakes outside of Barstow either?) It was great fun because they put a chair on the edge of the lake and I got to sit with my feet in the water. I exclaimed, "Ooh it's summer!" I was a total loser and the first adult to put myself to bed because I was tired. But, I was also, the only adult in a backbrace.

Then. There was today.

10:30am I get home from Barstow.

11:30am Sarah comes over to accompany me to Stater Bros.

11:30am We leave the dogs in the house (to be nice.)

12:30pm We get home and Randi and Earl are outside. Yes, outside. They got the window open in my bedroom. I don't know how because I am well aware that they do not have opposable thumbs.

12:31pm I consider putting them up for adoption.

12:32pm I remember this did not work the first time.

2:00pm Max comes over for me to babysit him. He is very excited about it because he is looking forward to some alone with Auntie time.

2:10pm I discover a hole in the drywall in the living room. I suspect it was a result of some kind of Mischief involving the couch.

2:11pm I decide to put Randi and Earl up for adoption.

2:12pm I remember that didn't work the first time.

3:00pm Randi and Earl try jumping on the swamp cooler.

3:10pm I imagine shocking them with a shock collar and then kicking their ass. I also imagine a life with good dogs. Coincidentally, this life also involves the guy from Hawaii 5-0 shirtless, fixing the drywall in the living room and then doing my laundry.

3:15pm Max hears me scream, "I'm going to kick your ass if you don't knock it off." He laughs.

4:45pm I tell Max that I think I'm going to have to cry "uncle" because the getting up and down off of the couch with him has kicked my ass.

4:51pm I call my mom and cry "uncle."

5:00pm I remind Max that he has to look like he had the best time of his life while here.

5:30pm My dad shows up and Max looks like he's had the best time of his life for 30 seconds and then proceeds to get hysterical. (Probably because he didn't want to leave me.)

6:00pm I open the wine and make all of my lunches and diners for the week because I plan on being exhausted the rest of my life.

Back to Work

My first day back to work started out rough when I discovered that there was no longer handicapped parking in front of my room. I don't have my handicapped parking sticker yet because I haven't turned in my paperwork, but I was going to park there anyways and send a text to the principal to let him know not to have my car towed.

The lack of handicapped parking was made up for by the flowers that Janice had waiting for me on my desk.

I didn't do much, besides first day blah blah blah and tell the kids that they had to be careful with their backpacks so I didn't fall on my face or hurt myself. And get very very tired. No pain. If I didn't know better, I'd think I just rode my bike 100 miles instead go to work on a minimum day. When I finally got home I called my dad to see if Max could come over. Max was indeed available for visiting, and coincidentally so was my dad, so they came over. I put Max in his sleeper thing. He liked it ok, but preferred sleeping with me holding him, which is fine by me. My dad and I didn't strap him in because we don't think he can jump out yet. My mom says we have to strap him into the swing because he will jump out if we don't. So far, I've not see the baby try to jump out of the swing. I think my mother may be overestimating Max's ability to jump. I asked my dad today when he will start to play and he said, "You mean, when will he do something?" Besides being awesome, the little guy still doesn't do much.
And now, I'm going to go to bed before 7 because I am exhausted!

For the Little Ones

The Saratoga Animal Shelter Baby Paraphernalia Collection

(I had to select standins since Max wasn't here.)

This morning I went back to Baby Boot Camp for the Bathtime Training for which there are a lot of rules and regulations that must be followed to ensure that the baby gets clean without getting cold or soap in his eyes. There were too many rules for me to remember all of them, but I think I could probably give the baby a bath without them, though he might be like, "Uh, excuse me, you didn't use three towels. Grandma uses three towels" or "Pardon me, but you didn't tell me 'snug as a bug in a rug.' It's not a proper bath without saying 'snug as a bug in a rug.'" I don't know how anyone ever gave anyone a bath without having attended Baby Boot Camp for Bathtime Training.

La grève

Apparently, 99.97% of my patience was located in the L3 and L4 discs that were removed from my body, because without them I seem to have very little, if any patience. This blew up this morning, when, after several expletives and pounding the keyboard violently, I decided that I was going to go on a work strike because for a person who is not working, I've sure been doing a lot of work. Donc, moi, je fais grève and I refuse to work until I go back to work on Wednesday. I'm not looking at email and if work calls I'm not answering. Even my mother called with a question about sewing and I said, "I don't know what to tell you mom, I'll have to look when I get back to work." I should have started this strike a week ago.

Unfortunately for me, I couldn't even go for a walk to get rid of all of my anger because I was already tired from my morning excursion to get my nails done. I picked up my house-violently throwing out stuff and swearing and then went to Best Buy to look at chest freezers. They didn't have not even one chest freezer, so I bought the new Nook instead.

I had been considering the new Nook for a while because the buttons on my Nook were broken, plus it is true that I generally covet all new technology. Right now seemed like as good as a time as any because 1) Best Buy didn't have a chest freezer 2) I don't have any books checked out from the library and 3) I really was in a really bad mood. I generally don't participate in retail therapy. I love the my new Nook. So light! So little! So easy to turn the page: tap, tap, tap. I did not get the Nook color because if I wanted to read with a big glare I'd just use the iPad.

I'm going to make it a cute little case.

Mon amour:

Friends-0

It's so sad to watch Clark trying to play with Randi and Earl because those two have their own unique play which involves biting each other's feet and Clark just constantly looks like he's on the fringe while they look like, hey you're getting in the way here. I guess it doesn't hurt his feelings because he tries to play with them all the time.

Big week because I walked 12 miles this last week!! And today, my final walk of the week, I walked my fastest and longest. I can't wait until I can walk the whole 2 miles without the cane because it means I could maybe start walking out in the desert again and I love that. I don't expect to walk 12 miles this next week since I'm going back to work and I will be excited if I just make it through the day. If you do exercise you should sign up at dailymile.com so you can be my friend because every time I log in it says "You and 0 friends" and that just seems so pitiful.

Book Reviews

Without Mercy Lisa Jackson This is a murder mystery suspense book. Jules Faratino's little sister Shaylee has had some problems with the law and is sent to Blue Rock boarding school. Jules has some serious issues with the school and so she ends up getting hired as a teacher in order to investigate undercover. As it turns out, Jules first love Cooper Trent (or Trent Cooper, I kept getting confused) is also there undercover, having been hired by parents of a student who has gone missing. Clumsy crime solving ensues. This book was 500 pages and I liked it eh, ok. I finished it, but there were too many "coincidences" to make it seem believable. I never bought into Jules gut feeling that something was just "wrong" at the school. She seemed remarkably neurotic and flaky to have any gut feelings. Yes there is some evil at the school, but it all seemed too contrived to make complete sense. This book rates an "I finished it."

The Wave Susan Casey I haven't read much non-fiction this summer and this was a welcome distraction from crime novels. This is the true story of rogue or freak waves. The history, the myths, the reality, the science and the "big wave" surfers who ride them. If you're not sure what a rogue wave is just put Laird Hamilton into YouTube. These waves are so big you have to be towed out with a jet ski. What I learned from this book is that I never ever ever want to go on the ocean because you could be on a nice cruise and BAM a rogue wave could hit you and you would get eaten by a shark in the middle of freaking nowhere. If you like adventure and have an interest in science then you'll like this book. I had to skim over the paragraphs about the physics of the waves because it was way above my head.

The Uncoupling Meg Wolitzer Suddenly in a New Jersey town, women start not wanting to have sex with their partners. Havoc is wreaked all over the city as couples try to live their new sexless lives. This sexless spell coincides with the school's production of Lysistra, a Greek play about women who withhold sex in order to stop a war. I started out really interested in this book, but by page 90 I was bored. Once again, a book with a premise/gimick where the story takes second place. I want a book where the characters and plot are interesting. I guess if you have recently found yourself repulsed by your lover and can't figure out why you might be interested in reading this book, or maybe you might just want to see if anyone is producing Lysistra around you.