Flocked

This morning I got flocked.  A flock of about 20 blow up flamingos (large and small) was deposited in my room by two students with a note saying that for $5 I could choose the next "flockee" or purchase anti-flocking insurance for $10.  I had to pay with an IOU because I never have cash and didn't have my checkbook; not having planned on being flocked this am.  I used the flock as what we educators like to call a "real teaching moment" and I had first period name and give identities to the entire flock en Français.  Then we took our pictures with the flock.

 I knew that the flock was making its way around campus, but I didn't think that I was cool enough to be flocked.  But that was all before a kid told me yesterday that I was "swag."  Yep, me....swag.  For those of you who don't know, swag is the only coolest of coolest.  There was some confusion in the translation over whether one is swag or whether one has swag and when I asked the kids least likely to make fun of me after school they laughed at me and I'm still not sure which is the proper usage.  Either way.  I'm full of and gots me some swag.  

Jean-François-Paul-Claude-Pierre le Grand dit Bob et Moi

Also, there's a goat in the neighborhood.  You can imagine how Randi and Earl feel about that.

Et Ionesco Scripts My Life

Une pièce de théâtre:

Scene UN:  Mantua, Romeo et moi.

Moi:  Romeo, oh Romeo wherefore are we banishèd?
Romeo:  Je ne sais pas.  Il me semble que je vous ai rencontré quelque part, mais je ne m'en souviens pas.
Moi:  Romeo, you're a fucking idiot.
Romeo:  Que c'est bizarre, que c'est étrange et quelle coïncidence, moi aussi je suis privé de mes proches.
Moi:  Romeo are those fucking ostriches?
Romeo:  Que c'est bizarre.  Que c'est étrange et quelle coïncidence, mais je m'en souviens pas.
Moi:  I think there's a guy here with a letter for you.
Romeo:  (Ignoring everything) Que c'est étrange et quelle coïncidence, mais je m'en souviens pas.
Moi:  Seriously, dude, you need some help.

Retour au sofa

I'd be lying if I said this week wasn't anything but pretty dang crappy.   Yesterday in 6th period I caught my foot on the strap of a kid's backpack and nearly fell.  In not falling I jerked and now I am very sore.  I came home and laid on the couch and my main plan for today is also to lay on the couch.  

I think the cleaning ladies must wonder why I just won't leave this picture frame on the shelf.

Damages

The dog house sustained the most damage in yesterday's winds. My dad said I should see if the homeowner's insurance would cover it, but I think I can nail down the shingles myself.  It's not like I'll have to climb on top of the roof to do it.

 

Domination

Read Speed

Staples has created an app to see how fast you read.  Click below.  I scored 332.  I'm sure Sara and Jessica will score somewhere like 700 words per minute.  My dad, the fastest reader in the world; he doesn't even have to pause between turning the pages, will probably score 756.

Source: Staples eReader Department

Attention Please

It has become increasingly clear that if I want some attention from my parents I am going to need to set myself on fire or get knocked up.