Odds n Ends

• Yesterday when I pulled PDub off her nest there was a golf ball and an egg. She didn't lay the golf ball, obviously. I am confused because this egg was pure white, like EDub's eggs and not olive green like the ones PDub laid before. Short of DNA testing, I don't know how to determine which duck has laid the egg. (Maybe Nick Stokes from CSI can come over. He's hot.) PDub is also pretty mean right now. She's chasing EDub about the yard. Today she's just sitting on the golf ball. She does dutifully cover it up before she gets up to chase EDub around the yard. I think that would be like if I handed someone my Cabbage Patch Kid and said, "Be careful you support her neck." But who am I to judge maternal instincts; I've got four dogs.
  
• Today this other teacher asked me if my kids had braces and how I worked that out with my insurance. If only I could have seen my face, I'm sure it would have been comedy. I said, "I don't have kids?" And he said, "Huh?" which is most everyone's reaction. Whereas my normal reaction is how could anyone think I have kids? I'm not married. I said, "I got four dogs and two ducks and they don't need braces and even if they did I wouldn't get them for them."
• I am officially a looser because I have not a summer plan. My agenda is completely empty. I asked two random students what they were doing and they said repectively, "Missouri" and "Peru." I said, "Huh, well, I might go to Victorville. And if I'm feeling particularly crazy maybe Hesperia, but only if I want to get wild." My plan is not to start drinking at 4:00pm. But I didn't tell the students that.
  
• There was a dead mouse in front of my house this afternoon. It was a snack for a bunch of ants. I screamed and picked it up. I'd rather not speculate on how it got dead. Maybe Randi and Earl tried to play mouse basketball with it. Like when I came home and they were playing turtle basketball with my turtle. He didn't last too long after that. I'd like it if the dead animals could be in places I can't see them.
• Two years ago I had two turtles for about six months. They were awesome. The big one was Ted and the other one was Little Turtle. But then Randi and Earl played turtle B-ball and Ted succumbed to turtle B-ball related injuries a couple a days later and Little Turtle ran away. Yes, you read correctly: ran away. He was walking and I turned around and when I looked back he was gone. Turtles can go pretty fast. Plus they kind of blend in. Ted was semi-suicidal and burrowed into the big back yard, which is how Randi and Earl discovered him. Bill said that I couldn't really blame Ted because turtles don't generally score that high on the cognitive function test.