Lies We Tell Ourselves

I don't often do fashion show in the morning because I hate fashion show and I usually don't care that much about what I'm wearing, but this morning I was having some difficulty picking out a shirt.  I finally found one, but when I got to school Gretchen came in and said, "Wear this shirt!" and handed me the fluorescent orange Cross Country t-shirt.  I look like a fat guy in a a little suit.  But it got me thinking that since I was wearing a Cross Country t-shirt that some people might think that I'm a cross country runner, so I tried to convince third period that I am a marathon runner.   Some of the kids were willing to play along and someone said, "Ms. Thompson, do you run?"  And I said, "Why yes, I ran four marathons last year."  Then another kid laughed and I reminded him that I'm the one who gives the grades.  I can imagine his skepticism, since I had just finished telling them that if they needed my help they were going to have to come to me because I had already worn myself out in second period.  In fourth period we had "The Great California Shakeout" drill which for you non-teachers is when you have to take all your students outside in the hot sun and they whine for 45 minutes and you lose an entire period.  I designated one young man my official chair porter because I knew I was going to need a chair.  While I was sitting grading papers and ignoring the whines on any number of subjects by various sophomores some girls came up to me and said, "Are you a runner?" I replied, "OF course, I am, I'm wearing this shirt."  They asked me for some advice and I told them to get some Vibram Five Fingers.

I might not be an actual runner, but I would consider myself a veritable expert on the Vibram Five Fingers Barefoot Running due largely in part to the weekend I spent in Palm Springs with Drunkass Bill and his college Cross Country buddies who talked NON-STOP for four consecutive days about the advantages of the Vibram Five Fingers.  I know so much about the shoe and barefoot running, you'd think I was fucking Tarahumara.


In other news, I still haven't seen my damn duck out and about in weeks, but I think I know what happened.  I think this bitch realized that she fucked up.  I think she realized that she laid all of her eggs before she made a nest and she is determined to not make the same mistake this time.  She told herself, I might have missed that last cycle, but fuck my life if I'm not going to have a nest ready for this next batch of eggs.  So I think she's made her nest in preparation of her next laying cycle, not realizing that it's actually several weeks away.  I hope she has the stamina to keep it up, because if she gets off the nest and then starts laying.....