Adventures with Max

Friday Max and I left the world of Grandma and Grandpa for a day-camping excursion!  We had been invited to spend the afternoon with Gretchen out in the desert riding quads and motorcycles.  First, my mom and I found Max a suitable rugged outfit that would express masculinity, outdoorsiness, and ability to drink Coors Light out of coozie all day long.  I think we nailed it.

Rugged Masculinity

 Then we put together two bags:  one with diapers and one with toys, blankets and other baby accoutrements and Max and I set off to Stoddard Wells Road Off Roading Area.  It was the first time I was alone and driving with Max and I thought I might throw up with the responsibility of it all on our way out there.  Once we got there Max was in awe.  The sounds...the sights... He didn't know what was going on and didn't make a peep.  This is a guy who is normally pretty fussy and he didn't make two noises the whole time we were out there.  We watched the kids ride quads until lunch time, but as it turned out he was too busy watching Gretchen do dishes to eat most of his lunch.

Me and Max

Max and his new friends

Mostly Max enjoyed the services of some professional moms.  Stephanie, Gretchen's sister, had his pants off, diaper changed, and pants back on before I would have even gotten them down over his butt.  Max was like, thank god finally someone who knows what they're doing, Amateur Hour over here is such a drag.   I was in awe because those are some skills I don't have.

Gretchen and Max

Max could not have had a better afternoon and he made a fantastic impression on everyone, which as I told him on the way home, is good so we'll be invited back.  Later, in Round III of Me v. Sleeper, the sleeper won.

Yesterday I was back over to take care of Max and I was in charge of breakfast:  rice cereal and a bottle.  Having never mixed up rice cereal and not having any type of ratio to go off of, I measured what I thought was the proper amount of formula to rice ratio and fed Max the first bite.  You can tell by his look that he clearly was not impressed.  I believe if he could talk he would have said, "What the fuck is this shit?  Can't you even make rice cereal?  Jesus, amateur."  I quickly remixed until I found a consistency that was palatable to the rice cereal gourmand.  Later in the day we went for a walk, which included hysterical screaming and crying for at least a half an hour until he fell asleep.

Before I went to my mom's, I went to feed the duck when I noticed that the cleaning ladies had not shut the gate to the little backyard.  I had a moment of panic and visions of me having to scour the neighborhood with pictures of my duck, crying "Duck, PDub, come here!  Duck, come here!"  Lucikly none of that was necessary because as soon as I shut the back door PDub came out of her hiding place underneath the chair and said, "Beep!"  And I replied, "Oh good duck.  You're a good duck.  Good duck."