Flocked

This morning I got flocked.  A flock of about 20 blow up flamingos (large and small) was deposited in my room by two students with a note saying that for $5 I could choose the next "flockee" or purchase anti-flocking insurance for $10.  I had to pay with an IOU because I never have cash and didn't have my checkbook; not having planned on being flocked this am.  I used the flock as what we educators like to call a "real teaching moment" and I had first period name and give identities to the entire flock en Français.  Then we took our pictures with the flock.

 I knew that the flock was making its way around campus, but I didn't think that I was cool enough to be flocked.  But that was all before a kid told me yesterday that I was "swag."  Yep, me....swag.  For those of you who don't know, swag is the only coolest of coolest.  There was some confusion in the translation over whether one is swag or whether one has swag and when I asked the kids least likely to make fun of me after school they laughed at me and I'm still not sure which is the proper usage.  Either way.  I'm full of and gots me some swag.  

Jean-François-Paul-Claude-Pierre le Grand dit Bob et Moi

Also, there's a goat in the neighborhood.  You can imagine how Randi and Earl feel about that.

Et Ionesco Scripts My Life

Une pièce de théâtre:

Scene UN:  Mantua, Romeo et moi.

Moi:  Romeo, oh Romeo wherefore are we banishèd?
Romeo:  Je ne sais pas.  Il me semble que je vous ai rencontré quelque part, mais je ne m'en souviens pas.
Moi:  Romeo, you're a fucking idiot.
Romeo:  Que c'est bizarre, que c'est étrange et quelle coïncidence, moi aussi je suis privé de mes proches.
Moi:  Romeo are those fucking ostriches?
Romeo:  Que c'est bizarre.  Que c'est étrange et quelle coïncidence, mais je m'en souviens pas.
Moi:  I think there's a guy here with a letter for you.
Romeo:  (Ignoring everything) Que c'est étrange et quelle coïncidence, mais je m'en souviens pas.
Moi:  Seriously, dude, you need some help.

Retour au sofa

I'd be lying if I said this week wasn't anything but pretty dang crappy.   Yesterday in 6th period I caught my foot on the strap of a kid's backpack and nearly fell.  In not falling I jerked and now I am very sore.  I came home and laid on the couch and my main plan for today is also to lay on the couch.  

I think the cleaning ladies must wonder why I just won't leave this picture frame on the shelf.

Damages

The dog house sustained the most damage in yesterday's winds. My dad said I should see if the homeowner's insurance would cover it, but I think I can nail down the shingles myself.  It's not like I'll have to climb on top of the roof to do it.

 

Domination

Read Speed

Staples has created an app to see how fast you read.  Click below.  I scored 332.  I'm sure Sara and Jessica will score somewhere like 700 words per minute.  My dad, the fastest reader in the world; he doesn't even have to pause between turning the pages, will probably score 756.

Source: Staples eReader Department

Attention Please

It has become increasingly clear that if I want some attention from my parents I am going to need to set myself on fire or get knocked up.

The Great Sewing Room Switch: Day Five

I got my new bed! I got my new bed!  I was so excited this afternoon waiting for the mattress to come; I felt like I was waiting for a date to show up.  I can't wait to go to bed.  I was a bit worried, since it's so high off the ground that Clark would have difficulties getting up, but he hopped right up and Randi hopped right up and then fell right off.  I managed to get a few things done in the sewing room.  I think from now all it's all going to have to be just one small step at a time to get through everything.

MY NEW BED!!

It was pretty cleaned up this morning, until I drug the sewing cabinet out.

Max toy repository/guest room.  Guests anyone??

My mom made the quilt for me a couple of years ago.

Small, nearly imperceptible changes.

The Great Sewing Room Switch: Day Four

I didn't even take pictures because nearly no progress was made today.  I managed to put away my cutting tools and put some magazines on the shelf, but I had a busy day.  First, I had to go back to Toyota so that they could fix the tailgate and the alarm, so it doesn't go off every time I lock the car because that's embarrassing.  Then, I went for walk and after that I stopped by Verona to drop off some clothes and books.  Let me tell you, this guy was IN LOVE with me.  He could not stop looking at me. We had a staring contest and I won.  He loved the books I took him.  He was so excited to read the Berenstain Bears Book of B that he was squealing and shaking every time I turned the page.  I read him my favorite parts of 101 Dalmations and skimmed over Scamp the Dog book because I never liked it anyways.  This guy is going to be a reader god dammit because I know the statistics and his future is grim at best if he's not.  I'm hoping to be unbanishèd by summer so that he and I can go to the library together, though as I've mentioned to him, it will be awkward if he's trying to eat all of the books while we're there.

Two fisting the books.  That's how we roll.

With the book with Mimi the Unidentifiable Animal because I can't tell what the fuck she is.

The Great Sewing Room Switch: Day Three

I'm tired.  It doesn't look like a lot happened today, but a lot happened.  I'll be ready to sort fabric as soon as my mom comes and gets the sewing cabinet tucked in the corner.  I called it a day after I pushed the empty trash dumpster in.  I may put away my cutting tools, but only because I can sit in my chair and do that.

I used Evan's towel technique and dragged the cabinet in. 

Clean desk.

No bins and I dragged the donate bags out to the garage.  (Too heavy to put in the truck myself.)

Hard to tell, but this room is actually getting more empty.

The Great Sewing Room Switch: Day Two

Jessica came over today and helped me sort.  She was a big help because she told me when I was not following proper sorting procedure and putting things in inappropriate and undesignated places.  We had a donate to school box, a for me school box, a for my momma box, a donate to Goodwill box and a take care of within 24 hours box.   I've got boxes everywhere and I haven't even started sorting fabric.  I hate having all of this crap everywhere.  (On the positive side, since I had breakfast with the bike guys and I'm having beer for dinner, the kitchen has remained clean and orderly.)  I've given up going to Joshua Tree with the Dubs tomorrow because I was stressing myself out thinking that if I didn't get this put together by Monday, it won't get done until June.  It takes me forever to do anything because I can only work for an hour and then I have to lay on the couch for a half an hour.   Then repeat.  Tomorrow my main goals are to go get the tailgate and alarm on my truck fixed, walk, call the handymen, get someone to push in the trash dumpster, do more sorting and figure out what I'm going to give to my mom.  

One day,  I will be able to sew again.

Dresser is temporary.  It's going to go in the Max's toy repository/spare room.

 

Sorting area.  There is a small pathway to the water bowl.  Earl had some issues and had to back himself out.  The camera was not nearby.

Exhausted

Jessica put the sorting boxes in here in case I went to Joshua Tree.   I'm going to get the cutting table out of the closet, then have the handymen fix it up and use it for some of my clothes.  I'm pretty excited about it.

Disaster Area.

Chaos

My Stolen Computer

I found my computer.  Or Walter Sherman of The Finder found my computer and is using it in his bar to help find other things, notably in this week's episode when he was trying to locate a teenage girl.  What I don't understand is why Walter Sherman, aka the Finder, didn't tell me he had found my computer.

Verona

I snuck in. Twice.

The Damn Duck

 This duck and I exchanged words yesterday because she was being unreasonable and barking at nothing and then tried to open the door to get into the house.  I said, "Listen up, Duck, you'd better change your attitude because you are being Ridiculous.  Not to mention that these fuckers already killed something today and you don't want it to be a twofer."

The Great Sewing Room Switch of 2012

(*Caution- pictures of chaos below)

 Yesterday Sara, Jessica and I went to Ikea.   I had to take a half a pain pill due to the earlier activities involving dead cats and I told Sara and Jessica that I was going to try to keep it together and not be embarrassing.   I tried, but I realized halfway through the showroom that I was walking around my mouth wide open.  Then I made a concerted effort to keep it closed, but mostly I just felt like I was failing at putting on my sober face.  I think that in addition to day care, Ikea should offer parenting classes where they point out that children doing cartwheels or laying on the floor in the middle of the isle is unacceptable.    This morning EDub (the man, not the dead duck) came over and helped me put together shelves and I wore myself out.   There have been some minor problems like my grandma's sewing cabinet won't fit. and I have a huge dead space in the corner.  I've got some other details to work out, but so far, it's looking good!  Tomorrow Jessica's going to come over and help me move stuff from the Old Sewing Room to the New Sewing Room, in the hopes that maybe I won't get so worn out.  I laid on the couch, but then the fact that every single room in my house looks like it could be on Hoarders, I was spurred to get up and get some laundry done and at least clean up the kitchen.  If I need peace, I'll sit on the floor in there.

Wall O Shelves

This room is a freaking mess.  I had to have Evan move stuff so that the mattress delivery guys can put my old mattress in here.  We had to pile everything to get stuff out.  

Why I Am Sore

Because this morning culminated in the disposal of another feline.

I hate everyone but Clark who was not involved.

3/4

There's not a lot of people who live here in Mantua.  My only neighbor is a guy named Romeo who won't shut the hell up about some chick named Juliet, so much so that I told him if he didn't stop crying like a little girl I was going sock him in the face.  Romeo didn't have the foresight to bring his iPhone to Mantua when he was banishèd and so he is unable to Facetime with his beloved.  I, on the other hand, have my iPhone and this morning I was able to engage in a Facetime session with Verona.  It went ok, except Verona was really more interested in eating the phone so at one point I was treated to a lovely image of Verona's mouth closing over the phone.  I'm so pleased that the grandparents of Verona think their iPhones can easily survive being eaten.

In other news:

IT'S SPRING BREAK!!!!!

You know what that means...that means that this ridiculous year is nearly over.  I have a lot of plans for Spring Break which mostly involve some major shopping expeditions.  On Wednesday I started shopping and stopped only when I had filled up the back of my truck.  Today I'm going to go buy my new mattress.  I'm debating on whether I want my bedroom to just be a bed and get the California King (plus side- there will be so much room even the Duck could sleep with us; down side- it'll probably take up all of the bedroom.) There will be a serious trip to Ikea to purchase items to set up in my new sewing room and Monday EDub (the man, not the dead duck) said he would come over and help me set it up.  (It's a good thing because I think there is no part to Ikea furniture that will not wear me out pretty quickly.)  I also have to purchase new licenses for two dogs so that should they be arrested they will not be incarcerated.  What I'm not getting is a new sewing machine.  Such a bummer to find out that Moore's had the wrong advertised price in their mailer.    

My other major goal is to walk to many miles Sara will be unable to Jazzercize her way out from under my Leaderboard domination.

Step Dogs

First of all, Clark would never allow me to lay on him like this because he generally does not enjoy being used as a pillow.

Second, Randi decided that the space in between Sara and the arm of the couch was the perfect size for her and she made herself fit.

More Bones

Today Sara and I had a double dose of Dub and walked with Peggy and Evan.  We saw more bones.  Clearly not human so Sara and I didn't need to put on lipstick to call out the sheriffs.

Communication

Sometimes at work I get fatigued with all the verbs and vocabulary and goals and objectives and freaking overwhelming amount of work that there is to do.  Lucky for me, Gretchen is right next door and we're stinking funny.  Yesterday we installed a new high tech phone line from her room to my room so we can talk to each other from our desks.  Our phone line isn't working properly yet because, as the braniacs in fourth period pointed out, the line needs to be tight and can't be touching anything else.  We think if we can find someone on campus with 25 feet of PVC pipe we can feed that through the ceiling and it will improve the sound quality.  We called the principal down to our rooms so we could show him what we had been very busy doing and he said, "Does it work?  You know it has to be tight and can't be touching anything."  While he was out principaling, Gretchen installed a line in his office as well.  We had to disconnect the lines for the weekend because the principal was afraid that they would set off the motion detectors.  Connected or disconnected these new phones are going to facilitate our preparations for the Zac Brown Band concert that we're going to on my birthday!  Gretchen and I are in complete agreement that we have to be prepared, so in the F Wing Compound, we have instituted an All Zac Brown Band All the Time rule.  

Direct line to Gretchen so we don't have to yell at each other.

Principal's line

Sara and Jessica came over last night for our weekly wine night in which Sara and I drink copious amounts of wine and Jessica has some Mountain Dew.  It went well except there was a fight between Clark and Earl and Clark ended up seeking comfort on Sara's lap.

Begging for chicken before the skirmish with Earl.