First, I set up the smoker I got from my dad and on Tuesday I set about smoking a brisket. Tuesday was by far the most epic day of the week because I got up at 4:30am, put the brisket on at 5:00am, dicked around on the computer, went to Home Depot at 6:55am, purchased new patio furniture, and returned home to prepare for my bike ride. Yes, you read it correctly, a bike ride. I had arranged to catch Bill and Friends on the last part of their ride to Tom's Restaurant. Bill was going to call around 9:00am, but I didn't want to have to rush getting my stuff together, so I had everything ready at 7:30am. Helmet- check. Water botel- check. Shorts with chamois- not so much check. It should have been about 8 miles which would have been the longest ride since my surgery. My dad was going to pick me up and take me to Home Depot to pick up my new patio furniture since it wouldn't fit in my car. However, when I arrived at Tom's and called the Big Guy, I discovered that he had not been at the eye doctor like he had said, but at the urgent care where he found out he has a hairline fracture on one of his left ribs as a result of dumpster diving in his own trash can. Because of this injury, the Big Guy was unable to come get me and rather than ride to Sara's house down the street I decided that I could just ride my bike home. I did. I made it, but I think most runners run faster than I was pedaling at the end and holy mother did my butt hurt. My back didn't hurt at all, but my ass. Yikes. There's a reason you're supposed to work up to a two hour bike ride. The brisket was freaking fantastic. I served it with yellow squash casserole. Everything at the Saratoga Animal Shelter is being served with a side of yellow squash because I have a lot of yellow squash. In about a week everything is going to be served with a side of yellow squash and eggplant because in a week I'll be having a lot of that as well.
This week was also epic because Max scared a little girl at gymnastics. He didn't do it on purpose, but they both went in this tent they're supposed to crawl through and he went in one side and she went in the other and while he thought this had been great fun, she did not so we had to learn how to say, "I'm sorry for scaring you" which he says about as well as "thank you." I also spent some quality time watching "Ah les crocodiles" with Max because I think it's important that he be able to say crocodile in French. On the second day of watching it, he told me, "Crocodile walking." I was mostly concerned whether or not there were actual crocodiles in the Nile river and why an éléphant would be the mortal enemy of a crocodile or why they don't talk about the crocodiles any more after they go off to war. Seems rather harsh. We had to watch les crocodiles on Youtube after we discovered that TV5.org was no longer offering "Les bêtes" as a catégorie on the videos on their mobile app and which used to feature prominently a crocodile in the opening sequence. A discovery that was disappointing to all concerned parties.
Max also learned the sound that a snake makes. What was actually funnier was his reaction when he saw the spider in the book, but I didn't have my camera nearby for that.
I anticipate that next week Max and I will have an epic battle around 5:00pm about whether or not we should watch some stupid Thomas the Train episode or the Tour de France. I fully expect there to be tears and whining and then for my parents to side with him. I am prepared, though, to fight this worthy fight because it is the freaking Tour de France which is EPIC and AWESOME and not some stupid movie about really useful trains which is flipping boring.
Shila and I have settled into a nightly routine. It goes like this: I feed her and Clark outside and then she starts to bark at nothing. I go out and get her and bring her in. Then we have a variation on this conversation:
Me: No. You're not going outside. You just bark at nothing.
Shila:
Me: No. You. Are. Not. Going. Outside. If you want to go then figure out how to open the door with your nose.
Shila:
Me: Seriously, go lay down. You'll just bark at nothing and I can't stand it.
Then we repeat from the beginning, sometimes with Shila doing the Shuffle Dance of Impatience until I get up to get ready for bed and let her outside to use the facilities and she barks at nothing and I have to go get her.
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