Consequences

Because Earl is a Mob Boss and a general jerkoff sometimes, like this morning when he went after Sarah and hit her with his paw, causing her hip to go out and her to slide across the cement, I am now the girl with a Pack of dogs who has to feed them separately. Sometime today Mob Boss Earl went after Clark, causing him to cower in the garage curled up in the dog fetal position so badly he wouldn't even come out even after I came home and called for him. Before I found him hiding in the fetal position still shaking, I had a moment where I pictured him dead in the mass of dense weeds, or dead from internal bleeding due to injuries caused by the Mob Boss. Weeds, incidentally, that I remarked last night to Randi and Earl could hide a dead animal for days before we found it. Geez, for all I know there could be all kinds of dead things out there.* I do not like the idea of finding any dead animals in my yard. Lucky for me I had just spent $85 at Wal Mart on animal food, including canned food because I had noticed that Clarky seemed not to be eating and I let him in and fed him and then he perked up and wagged his tail. He is currently curled up in the dog fetal position shaking on my bed.

So now I will have this routine: Let the Pack in and run around while Sarah eats outside by herself. Because Sarah does not take the Mob Boss shit. Even after he knocked her over this morning, she was still fiesty as ever and she and Earl both know if she were younger she would kick his bully ass. Then I'll have to let Clark in and feed him separately because he does not like the Mob Boss.

I do not like this because this is an inconvenient pain in the ass.

*Several years ago I was at a conference in Vegas and it snowed a foot while I was gone. Four days later after the snow had melted I discovered that Clark and Sarah had killed a cat while I was gone. It's carcass explained the mysterious scratches on both dogs. I followed the dead animal protocal and called my dad who said, as is typical Big Guy, "Well, you're gonna need to get a shovel." ** Also, several years ago, Clark and Sarah attacked a crow. I can't even explain how that happened and I saw it. Clark had crow feathers in his mouth. The crow then was maimed and in my backyard and his crow buddies were circling above ready to attack. I called my dad because the crow was unable to fly and unable to get out of my yard and I feared for my life because of its crow cronies and he said, "Here's what you need to do. You're gonna need a shovel. Then hit it over the head." I did get a shovel, but I tried (screaming the entire time) to get the crow to get on the shovel to take it out to the front yard. The crow was less than obliging and it stayed maimed in my yard until it managed to get into the neighbor's yard and they called animal control.

Sarah. Somewhere underneath is the dead cat.