First, Nick Viselli's wonder kids did a great job in the front yard, meaning it is back to desert brown instead of desert weed green. When he called me at 7:30am (to ask where I was-school starts at 7:00am, so I was, of course, at school) he wanted to know what was wrong with the Pack that they didn't even bark at him. I said, yeah, they knew it was you and they were going to need to conserve their energy to get through the day playing with Nick Viselli because he's hard core. Well they conserved too much because they are not even tired. Maybe tomorrow when Nick's in the backyard.
PDub. As I've mentioned, PDub has been acting a bit strange. I talked to Stephen about it today at lunch and he said PDub could have a cold and that's why she's sneezing. Or maybe she is 'egg bound' which means that her eggs are stuck and not exactly doing what they should be and in that case it is serious and ducks "go pretty fast" when they get sick. I said, what? He said I needed to feel PDub's belly to see if there are any eggs in there and if there are then she would need some medical attention. I said, am I gonna have to take the duck to the vet? How do I take her? He suggested a leash or putting her in a cat carrier, if the vet even will look at a duck. Immediately I started to worry thinking that I was going to have a deceased duck on my hands when I got home, so I said, maybe I'll need to go home and get her and bring her back to the staff meeting. Sometimes people bring their kids to the staff meeting, why couldn't I bring my duck? Promptly after lunch I marched myself up to the principal's office and said my duck is sick, I might go home and get her and bring her to the staff meeting. The principal, who is new to poultry husbandry himself having just got a bunch of chickens said, well hopefully she won't just fall over and die like my chicken. I said, hopefully not because I will have to scream a lot.
I didn't have enough time to run home to check out PDub before the staff meeting, so I did the next best thing and spoke to Duane the Ag and FFA teacher and I explained that I thought my duck was sick. He said I needed to see if she had a respiratory infection because this is what you have to look out for with birds and he suggested I listen to her and see if she had any nasal discharge as well as feel for stuck eggs. I then asked what should I do if I feel eggs. He said, "Well, you go to CVS and get some mineral oil and then you're going to need a turkey baster. Then you're going to have to stick it up her hooha..." He said hooha. I stopped Duane right there and said, wait can I bring the duck to school and your kids do that for some kind of 'project'? He said, oh yeah. We've had to do that to an iguana once.
Duane is the shit.
And so, it is within the realm of possibility that tomorrow or Wednesday, PDub will be taking a field trip in a cat carrier to school with me to have her hooha basted with mineral oil by some kids in the vet science class. Imaginez: Me and my duck. Me and my duck walking into the Ag class. Me saying "Hi kids, here's my duck, PDub. Baste away." Someone taking a picture of me and my duck in the cat carrier, because you can't pass up an opportunity for photos like that. My duck spending quality time in French II and III. Le canard. Le canard noir. Le canard malade. Mademoiselle est folle. I told the principal after the meeting that my duck might be coming to school with me tomorrow. He said, "Do what you gotta do."
Lucky for me and PDub she is much more active today. I picked her up and felt narry a stuck egg. There seems to be no nasal discharge and she is eating. Additionally, I'm afraid she may suffer some kind of duck heart attack in the cat carrier since she was shaking horribly when I triaged her.
I am kinda excited about taking my duck to school though. Maybe she could be like those dogs that go in the little purses and I could just start taking her everywhere- Stater Bros., Wal-Mart, restaurants.
No comments:
Post a Comment