Not This Time, Lance

My new bike!

My spinner bike came while I was in Sacramento and my daddy helped me put it together when I got home today. I had to get a spinner bike because:

1. It is the ONLY exercise I can do and the only thing that makes me feel better. I went to the spinning class after the three days I couldn't move and after I warmed up, it was the only hour in four days that I was pain free.
   
2. I wanted to sock 24 Hour Fitness and their "Workout when you want, how you want" campaign in the face because all of the spinner bikes on the floor have been broke since July and any time I asked about it they told me, "Uh, it's in the computer." And I have not been in any way shape or form motivated to get up at 4:30am to go to the gym to ride a broken bike which means I have not been getting an appropriate amount of exercise to counter the amount of calories I prefer to consume, so....
   
3. I was forced to go to the T/TH 5:30am spinning class at 24 Hour Fitness which made me want to sock the instructor in the face because she wouldn't shut her damn mouth. No really, she talks non-stop for an hour. To which all I wanted to do was shout, "Shut the fuck up and let me exercise!!" You will be happy to know that I neither socked the lady in the face nor spouted expletives. I did put myself in check, and said, "Self, you chose to come in here. You must stay quiet. Do not talk." But in reality I was just thinking about how much the fun of exercise was ruined by incessant fucking chatter, sooo
4. I was not motivated to get up at 5:00am to go to the spinning class and I was not getting the appropriate amount of exercise.
   
5. Bill said it was probably a wise choice since I wanted to sock many people in the face and that maybe I should also get a punching bag. I would have, but I wasn't sure how I was going to put it up by myself, plus I have concerns about breaking a nail.
   

I am now motivated. I am excited about my new bike. I can't wait to ride a spinner bike that works and not to hear flippant chatter whilst I am doing so. This is good because it appears that I am never going to get help for my back. My referral for the spine shots was denied by my doctor because she says I have to go in to get shots from her. I was beyond despondent. The return call to the doctor went like this:

Lady: She says you have to come in here for some trigger shots before the epidural.
Me: (holding back TEARS and SOBS) Why?
Lady: Because she says so.
Me: (Release of TEARS and SOBS)
Lady: Are you still there?
Me: (Angry tones interspersed with bigger TEARS and SOBS) If she could do something to help me why didn't she do it 7 months ago?? (HICCUPS, TEARS.)
Lady: She can see you November 10.
Me: I (SOB) can't (SOB) see her (SOB) until November (SOB, SOB) 10???
Lady: Ok, hold on honey. Let me see what we can do.
Me: (Unstoppable TEARS AND SOBS.)
Lady: October 27, can you make that?
Me: (unintelligible answer because of TEARS and SOBS.)
Lady: Will that work?
Me: TEARS AND SOBS

I am not someone who generally breaks down in tears in front of people. Clark, yes. Other non-canines, no. And then I said, self, you have to stop crying because you can not down to the workshop to find out how to implement a service learning club in after school programs with unending TEARS and SOBS because you will be branded as someone who cares so deeply about service learning that you break down in tears and you don't even know what service learning is.

All is well here at the Shelter after my four days in Sacramento for the After School Conference. No dead animals to report.