Birthday Eve

This birthday week eve has been consumed with me weighing the age-appropriateness of and fighting the urge to throw myself on the ground in a tantrum that would make a two year old look like an amateur; a tantrum so gargantuan and violent that the energy from my feet flailing on the laminate flooring would register on the Reichter scale and my raging screams of "Pay attention to meeeeeee!" hurled at the ceiling could be heard in a Siberian work camp.