Yesterday I got my Country on and went with Gretchen and her sister and friends to the Pala Casino to see Jason Aldean. Some of you may have seen Jason Aldean on the Academy of Country Music awards last week. I've been studying for the concert non-stop for two weeks by listening to Jason Aldean exclusively. All the way to Vegas; all the way back. I wanted to show up in cowboy boots and know all of the words to all of the songs. I wanted a cowboy hat. I made an effort to look for a chunky girl plaid shirt, but I couldn't find one. Gretchen had an extra pair of cowboy boots that she let me wear, so despite my lack of a plaid shirt, I was able to blend right in with everyone in their sundresses and cowboy boots. One of the girls did my hair in a poof. I bought an 18 pack of Coors Light. Clearly, I went all out. I thought I was making a leap out of my comfort zone, but apparently not. Before I left I had to impress on the Big Guy's paternal obligations to check on the Pack and depressed duck and I said, "Dad, I'm gonna wear cowboy boots!" He replied calmly, "OK, well have a good time." I could have easily have said, "Dad, I'm eloping to Vegas." or "Dad, I think I'm going to look into a sex-change operation." He obviously wasn't listening. I sent my sister a picture of me in my sundress and cowboy boots with the poof and she didn't seem to think that this was anything worth commenting on. Clearly, I was still operating within what everyone else considers my comfort zone.
Gretchen made a valiant effort to get us backstage passes by tweeting Jason Aldean that we were six hot chicks with a trunk full of beer. He didn't respond. Evidently he is either not into 1) hot chicks 2) beer or 3) hot chicks with beer. We took a lewd picture of us next to his giant mug on his tour 18 wheeler. There was a brief buzz kill panic at the hotel when we learned of the hotel's "Cooler Policy" and had to take all the beer out of the cooler before we could get up to the room. Not to be discouraged, two people smuggled it back in and since Jason Aldean was not interested in the beer we had brought for him, I drank up my beers and his as well.
The concert was freaking fantastic. Absolutely fucking awesome. Apparently, with the proper amount of beer, I can stand for long periods of time. I'm not sure how to work that into my daily routine, because I'm pretty sure I would not be allowed to keep my job if I had to be pounding beers all day long. I didn't meet my Redneck Romeo, but not to worry because in May the PBR (Professional Bull Riding) is going to be at the Pala Casino. I'm sure there'll be some men there!
Small mishap with red wine and tickets.
OH MY GOD WE LOVE JASON ALDEAN!
My Country feet.
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