Safety Memo

To:  Members of the Saratoga Animal Shelter Safety and Alert Team

From:  The Shelter Director

RE:  Safety Procedures

Effective immediately all members of the Saratoga Animal Shelter Safety and Alert Team are directed to devote all attention and energies to ensuring the safety of the Saratoga Animal Shelter.  Due to recent events of the non-alerts of visitors during non-nap time hours, the Saratoga Animal Shelter Safety Team has been falling down on the job.  This is not limited to the Shelter's Director's mother appearing unannounced to the back door and practically causing the Shelter Director's heart attack.  The Shelter Director is lucky that she was sober, awake and not caught in flagrant dilecto.  This type of non-alert is simply unacceptable.  All visitors should be announced via loud barking, humping and attacking each other so that the Shelter Director is given no other option, but to get up from her her riveting television program and not caught unawares.  In exchange for the alerts, the Shelter Director points the Alert Team to section IV of the Saratoga Animal Shelter Bargaining Unit Contract in which the Shelter Safety and Alert Team is guaranteed food and water and the opportunity to pre-wash the dishes in exchange for appropriate and timely alerts of coming visitors.  If you have any questions please see your union rep.