Downgraded

I just got off the phone with Choice Medical because they had downgraded my "urgent" referral for a 24 hour heart monitor and heart ultrasound to "routine," which for those of you who aren't familiar with the Choice Medical referral process means "bend over and grab your knees." I did what anyone would do and I took a deep breath and swore a bunch when I got off the phone and then called Choice Medical which is like chasing your own tail.

Me: I need to know why my urgent referral was downgraded to routine.

CM: You have to talk to the doctor's office.

Me: I just talked to them. They don't know.

CM: Well you have to talk to the doctor's office.

Me: Right. I did that. They don't know.

CM: Well that information has to come from your doctor's office.

Me: I'm sorry, can you hold why I get Jack fucking Reacher on the other line?

Needless to say, after Choice Medical put me on hold and called the doctor's office, then tried to hang up on me and I called back, then told me that the doctor's office was talking with the referral department and would be following up with me and I got off the phone by politely saying thank you and called the doctor's office the girl there laughed and said, "Oh they just approved it right now over the phone." Ain't that right, BITCH.

So I go on Tuesday to put the halter monitor and to have my ultrasound on my heart. I hope I can get a nice picture of my heart and I hope it's big and beautiful. I'll put it next to my chest X-ray from when I got ma carte de long séjour in France.

My sister says if I want to see Baby Maximus awake and ready for business then I have to go when they're going to feed him at 3:00pm or 6:00pm. I'm putting it in my calendar. And maybe I'll even register him his Google account now and put it in his calendar as well.