Officially Sanctioned Decisions

The Big Guy's party went well. There were a lot of people. They all said they were going to miss my dad. That guy gets a big FAIL on the single men because he had one job. One. Make sure that there were single men there. One task for his party. And he failed miserably. To calculate the number of men who were there you have to take the number of men in the world and then multiply it by zero. And I got Sara to agree to bartend on the promise that there would be single men. Double Fail.

I'm happy the party's over because I'm tired of my mom yelling at me and telling me what to do. As soon as drinks were poured a took a gin and tonic shot to help. At one point yesterday I cautioned my sister, "Has that been officially approved? Do you have authorization to place that bowl of pretzels on that side of the centerpiece?" (Turns out my sister was not cleared to put that bowl of pretzels in that location and she had to move it to the authorized pretzel distribution point.) My mother instructed me and my sister to stand by the food and monitor. So we stood by the food and monitored. My mom's friend said, "What are you two doing over here?" I said, "Oh, we were given orders to stand right here and monitor and so we are standing right here and monitoring because I don't want to get yelled at any more."

There's enough booze left over for me to throw the BOMB pre-surgery fun-o-rama next week. I could be drunk for the entire weekend and still have enough alcohol to last me the rest of the year. (I hope.)

I'm so sore today I can't hardly move, but there's still work to be done. Me and the Big Guy are on party clean up detail and my mom and my sister are in charge of bringing Baby Max home!! Surely to God I'll get to see that guy awake more now.