The Eye

This morning while I was out for my walk (2.81 miles at 2.8 mph!) there was a feral cat who threatened my life.  This cat hunkered down and gave me an evil eye so malicious that I crossed to the other side of the road because I thought, right, all I need is for a cat to attack me and then I'd have an asthma attack and rabies.  This cat watched me for at least a half a block.  I watched it too, but uncertain of the way of the felines, I wasn't sure how much I could stare at it before it would spring up and eat my face.  I used my only weapon and said, "Cat, you think you're hot shit right here Lone Eagle Road?  Why don't you take a stroll to the end of Saratoga.  Yeah, that's right Saratoga.  Ask for Randi and Earl."