Mon Week-end

This has been the most awesome weekend in quite a while; mostly because I've done several things that did not involve being on the couch in my house. Friday I made it through work. I'd be lying if I said I was anything but absolutely exhausted. I also made it to book club where I discovered that perhaps I don't have to worry about being kicked out of Married Ladies Book Club for improper behavior. Saturday I went with Gretchen to the lake outside of Barstow. (What? You didn't know there were lakes outside of Barstow either?) It was great fun because they put a chair on the edge of the lake and I got to sit with my feet in the water. I exclaimed, "Ooh it's summer!" I was a total loser and the first adult to put myself to bed because I was tired. But, I was also, the only adult in a backbrace.

Then. There was today.

10:30am I get home from Barstow.

11:30am Sarah comes over to accompany me to Stater Bros.

11:30am We leave the dogs in the house (to be nice.)

12:30pm We get home and Randi and Earl are outside. Yes, outside. They got the window open in my bedroom. I don't know how because I am well aware that they do not have opposable thumbs.

12:31pm I consider putting them up for adoption.

12:32pm I remember this did not work the first time.

2:00pm Max comes over for me to babysit him. He is very excited about it because he is looking forward to some alone with Auntie time.

2:10pm I discover a hole in the drywall in the living room. I suspect it was a result of some kind of Mischief involving the couch.

2:11pm I decide to put Randi and Earl up for adoption.

2:12pm I remember that didn't work the first time.

3:00pm Randi and Earl try jumping on the swamp cooler.

3:10pm I imagine shocking them with a shock collar and then kicking their ass. I also imagine a life with good dogs. Coincidentally, this life also involves the guy from Hawaii 5-0 shirtless, fixing the drywall in the living room and then doing my laundry.

3:15pm Max hears me scream, "I'm going to kick your ass if you don't knock it off." He laughs.

4:45pm I tell Max that I think I'm going to have to cry "uncle" because the getting up and down off of the couch with him has kicked my ass.

4:51pm I call my mom and cry "uncle."

5:00pm I remind Max that he has to look like he had the best time of his life while here.

5:30pm My dad shows up and Max looks like he's had the best time of his life for 30 seconds and then proceeds to get hysterical. (Probably because he didn't want to leave me.)

6:00pm I open the wine and make all of my lunches and diners for the week because I plan on being exhausted the rest of my life.