It all started out great: I went for my walk and I walked .25 miles without the cane and at my fastest pace. Then I took a shower and then I decided that I could go to the store by myself. Big Mistake. The grocery store was a necessity because the day before I had run out of Ken's Light Creamy Cesar Dressing*, which is cause for raising the terror alert to HIGH as far as I'm concerned. One should never be without three bottles of Ken's Light Creamy Cesar on hand: one in the refrigerator, a back-up and a back-up-back-up. So I went to Stater Bros. and about the time I reached for the onions, I thought, hmm perhaps I shouldn't be here by myself. By the time I got to the bread I was positive that I had made a mistake, and when I finally put the four bottles of Ken's Light Creamy Cesar in the cart, I was thinking of nothing but the end; having committed and gotten myself there, I finished up my shopping and got in line where I had to stand waiting for 15 minutes. There was only two checkstands open and it was too long. The checker turned out to be the mom of a friend of a friend of a friend and I found out all kinds of interesting facts about her as she gushed to the random mom in front of me with TWO carts full of food and some problem which cause the gushing checker to call the manager. In my pain filled daze, all I could think was wow, I'm glad someone else's mother shares inappropriate information with complete strangers. I had to instruct the checker and bagboy to not fill up bags too heavy because I am weak and then I had to ask for help out. The kid walked me to my car and said, "Are you still teaching French?" Turns out he was one of my students. I didn't recognize him because he was about two feet high when he was a Freshman. He put the stuff in the car and I drove home, took out only the most perishable of perishables and promptly put myself on the couch, treated myself to some Bridezillas and tried not to burst into tears because I was so wrecked. I couldn't even finish getting everything out of the truck. I left most of what I brought in on the counter. I almost cancelled my hair appointment, but kept it just because I thought if I feel so shitty, at least my hair will look nice.
When I got home with beautiful hair, I knew I had to take Randi's wrap off around her leg, but I didn't have the energy to wrestle her to get it off. Instead, I decided to make her do the work and I took off her cone and said, "Get to work. The doctor said you could be resourceful. Be freaking resourceful." Then I took a pain pill and waited for Sara to come over and finish putting away my groceries. If Sara hadn't arrived there would be Ken's Creamy Light Cesar still in the car.
For the record, it took Randi at least an hour to get the wrap off of her foot and it is a new rule that I am not allowed to go to the store by myself for at least another couple of weeks and I'm going to include WalMart on that last.
*Ken's Light Creamy Cesar Dressing can contact me for an endorsement deal because I'm not the only fan at the Saratoga Animal Shelter. Earl's also partial to the Ken's Light Creamy Cesar.
1 comment:
Don't go thinking you're ready for school if you can't "do" WalMart or Stater Bros. Just walking from your room to the office to check mail...or a walk to the restroom would be enough to probably send you home.
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