UFC- Duck Style

Ok, so when I first walked to the door, I saw EDub jump on top of PDub and pretty much crush her. I tried to take a good photo, but the settings were set to portrait because I was earlier trying to take portraits of Randi and Earl, which subsequently turned out not to be the right settings to capture the incredible duck chick fight in my backyard. Then PDub got the upper hold, or in UFC-speak "mounted" EDub, and put her in a "submission" hold, which is what the video is. I don't know why they were fighting. I don't know what this means in duck behavior. I don't know if I need to get an octagon and start charging. I. Don't. Know. It's a freaking zoo around here.




While UFC was going on in the Little Backyard, me and my dad spent some quality time working on his "Jury Selection: How to Pick a Winning Jury" Powerpoint for his presentation at the State Bar Conference in September. I told him I'd help him because like, iTunes, my dad has no working knowledge of Powerpoint and I said, "Big Guy, you can not do a presentation and not have a Powerpoint." Me helping him consisted of him telling me what to copy and paste from a very long document and me throwing myself around whining "Arghhhh, this is so boring!" or "Arghhh, that doesn't make sense!" or "Arghhhh, that's not grammatically correct! Didn't you lawyer people have a grammar class in law school?" or "Hey, let's look on Youtube for a funny lawyer video!" and my dad saying, "Will you concentrate," or "Get off of Youtube," or "Clark get off of me," and ending with "How about I just highlight what I want and you do this tomorrow." We both agreed on the last one, because I was ready to poke my eyes out with sewing scissors and seam rippers.

I have to work on formatting the Jury Selection Powerpoint tomorrow because one of my pet peeves is when things are not ordered or formatted properly and consistently. Like if you are going to use bullets in one part of something then the next thing of equal value should have bullets or if you have text that is two different fonts for no reason. I can't stand that. I am, according to the Jury Selection guidelines, a linear thinker and would be good for a prosecution oriented jury, but not a defense oriented one. I never get picked for juries anyways because as the last time I went to jury duty, my dad was the boss of the public defender. It's also a plus that I know so many people from my many looooong years coaching mock trial. Don't think I don't drop the Big Guy's name, title and shoe size, when it comes time for jury duty. I'll drop some big time names over in the Victorville Courthouse if need be.

(You can read some of the jury related humor that got vetoed from the Jury Selection Powerpoint, by clicking here.)