Hearing Aids

I have discovered a definite disadvantage to riding with my retired bike boyfriends: hearing. I knew Gene had some hearing issues because a typical conversation with him goes

Me: Did you get your truck fixed?
Gene: HUH?

Today we were bike riding and I heard a rattlesnake. I immediately jumped off the bike and started screaming, "Where is it?! Where is it?!" because it was loud and so I assumed that it was very close by. Gene said, "HUH?" I yelled, "THE SNAKE?? WHERE IS IT??" It was in a bush about four feet off the trail, curled up and pissed the fuck off. I kept screaming, but Gene wanted to look at it. Then I yelled, "MOVE!" because I was unwilling to stand four feet away from the pissed off snake. Everyone else came back to look at the Mojave Green. These guys, while very helpful when I need a tube changed, not so very useful if a snake starts rattling. Bill said he thought it was someone's breaks. They never see or hear the snakes. I think it's because they are not vigilant. I am vigilant. I am constantly scanning the trail and off of the trail to see if there is anything moving. I do not want to be caught unaware.

This was made even more upsetting because only five minutes before a guy who was hiking walked up to me and showed me the rattlesnake that he had trapped on his fucking walking stick. I screamed, "I don't want to see it!" and he came closer to tell me more about it. Sooooooo not cool.

Then I came home to find a new member of the Saratoga Animal Shelter.
A close look at the body language of Black Cat will clearly indicate that s/he is completely comfortable underneath the getto half dead tree next to the abandoned duck nests. S/he is not just visiting for a few minutes. S/he has set up camp. My exact thoughts were "What the fuck?? Oh God, where are the ducks?"

Having discovered them not dead via feline mischief, I took pictures and told the cat, "Are you here to eat mice? Because if you are you can stay."

Do not be afraid that I will suddenly be adopting cats, because that would be the death of me. If you wanted to kill me it would be simply a matter of placing a cat on my pillow and hiding my inhaler. I would rather smoke 10 packets of cigarettes and live in house that pumped in smog, than with a cat. As long as Black Cat stays outside, eats mice, leaves the ducks alone then Black Cat can stay. As a side note, I did not see any mice yesterday.

Somehow, I think this development will not be quite so idyllic.