Q and A

In case you don't get the Daily Press delivered to your house, there was a very nice article about the Big Guy in Saturday's paper. I finally saw it today. I don't know why the Big Guy listed To Kill a Mockingbird instead of a Jack Reacher novel as a book that inspired him.

Here's my own Q and A (not published in the Daily Press.)

What did the doctor say about your back?

He said that it was looking good, but that the L3/L4 fusion isn't straight. He said he didn't think I did it because the screws weren't out of place. He said it may or may not cause me problems. Probably my scoliosis that never showed up until I was 34 will cause me more problems. He said I'm doing very well and to keep walking.

When are you going back to work?

Well, that depends on my schedule, but not before Aug. 16th, but as late as September. I have to be able to be upright for six hours because you can not teach French laying on a couch, even if you do have an Interwrite Mobi pad.

Do you have restless leg syndrome?

The doctor said one in a hundred patients report some leg restlessness after surgery. I am the 1% and he said he doesn't understand that, but to take muscle relaxers to see if it helps.

When are you going to start driving again?

As soon as my dad gives me back the keys to my truck or I find where my spare keys are and where my mother has hidden the key to the lock to the gate where my dad has put my truck. And if I can't get in it, then I'll switch cars with Sara because I think people are getting sick of carting me around.

When will Sara change her Facebook status to reflect Clark's relationship with her?

Probably not in the near future.

How will you get the eggs out of the duckhouse given your immobility?

Great question. I don't think my pinchers will work, so I think I will have to use various objects to scoot the egg forward until I can reach it. It will require skill and dexterity.

On a scale of 1-10, ten being the most awesome display of Walmart-ness how would you rate today's trip to Walmart?

Easily a 9.6. There was everything. Bald ladies. Shaved half bald employees. Employees with no teeth. People who were walking as slow as me or slower on purpose. People trying to get me to register for stuff. Kids trying to get me to support their causes and everyone with an EBT card. It was an Experience.

Have you ever played in a dumpster?

No, but I made Sara turn the car around when I saw five kids playing in the dumpster on Kiowa. At second look, the mom was with the kids who were playing in the dumpster. This was in the part of quartier that would be considered ghetto and not ghetto adjacent.

Besides vampires do you think there are other creatures that require an invitation before entering a house?

Yes, Douchebags otherwise they are forced backwards by Nature into the dark of the Louisana Bayou, just like in True Blood.

What if you don't live in Louisiana?

Doesn't matter. Nature still forces them there.