The Week In Review

Friday
I saw the duck lay her egg.  Saw it.  Come out.  Plop.  Egg.  It was an intimate moment between me and my duck.  Of course, I was pretty excited about it thinking, "At least I'll know which one is new."  Only this duck hadn't just started laying eggs Friday.  She started Sunday when I left and so I had to throw away 6 eggs (one quiche worth!) because she can't be reasonable.

 WALKING!

Yep, this little guy started walking for reals.  It was pretty darn awesome.  Because he's now a "big kid," he also told me "No-no" when I admonished him for throwing his puzzle pieces on the floor.  He made up for his attitude by saying "stinky" when I changed his pants.  (Note to self: limit the F-bombs from now on in presence of the baby) Also he said some of the sounds in my name in mostly the order they go, so I say it counts.

LEGOS

A platform diving board for synchronized diving

Since my previous foray into "playing Legos" left me bewildered and feeling like I'd landed on the wrong end of the Legos bell curve, I've done some research.  I asked my friends' daughter Ruth about playing Legos because she's an expert and plays all the time and built an elevator shaft for her Lego apartment building.  She said, "You just put stuff together."  I'm sure she thinks I'm dumb.  I still don't get it.  When I was in San Diego for my conference I went to the Lego store to do some research and observation.  And after 10 minutes of researching and observing I decided that playing Legos still looked boring as all fuck and I am not interested, but that I will put on my happy face around Max.

Saturday

It's a Snickerdoodle Slumber Party this weekend!  I took possession of Her Royal Highness, Princess Emmah Snickerdoodle yesterday and brought her to my house.   She's supposed to go back to her house daily so she can sit in the air conditioning, but I have to draw the line somewhere.  Yesterday I was getting ready to go in my pool and Emmah and I walked outside to discover the fucking duck sitting by the dog food!!  (To review the dog food is in the Big Backyard where the dogs generally are and where ducks and cats go to die.)  I screamed and tried to shove Emmah into the house before she saw her and decided to eat her.  Then I scooped up the duck and in my bathing suit, walked her out to the front yard and into the Little Backyard and promptly cut her wings.  What the hell was she thinking??  I had just left her in the Little Backyard only moments before.  She's not in her right mind because she also put her nest in a place that is very difficult to reach.  The rest of the evening passed without incidence except for HRH Princess Emmah doesn't know what to do and so she does a lot of pacing which is annoying.

Today


When we were little my cousins had a dog named Boxtop.  Boxtop always smelled foul because he spent a lot of time out in the lake or rolling around in dead animals.  I'm not sure what he did, but it was disgusting.  The worst insult you can give a dog is to say it smells like Boxtop.  Well, Princess Emmah smells like Boxtop.  I told my mom this a few weeks ago and the next day when I called my dad said she was giving her a bath because I had said she smelled like Boxtop.  This morning I smelled the eau de Boxtop wafting from Emmah's general area.  It's so bad you have to wash your hands after you touch her.  Blech.  I guess Princess Emmah has some hygiene issues.  You know who doesn't have hygiene issues?  My two who knows what the fuck they are mutts: Randi and Earl.