Me and My Pack of Dogs: +2

A very young Puppy Clark and Baby Shila playing

Perhaps because I follow Michelle Bachman on Twitter, I've started to emulate her own brand of craziness combined with a passion for foster care and adoption. Not sure, but the Saratoga Animal Shelter is now sheltering two more members. Both are my sister's dogs. Baby Shila with the big head is my sister's pitbull with a big head. She's chill. She and Clark were roomies at the Canine Club Med Apple Valley location, located at my parents' house when I was in France. The other is my sister's "St. Bernard Puppy" who did not come with a barrel around her neck, but who is about 2,000 pounds and who is not spayed and who may or may not have been a filthy whore about a month ago.

Let me back up. Wednesday I came home and it was clear that something was wrong with Randi's left ear. It didn't take a super genius to deduce that the blood on her ear was not normal. When it was still gross on Thursday I made an appointment for her. I had to run out of school and run home and get Randi on the leash and try to get her in the car calmly. She was mostly ok, but Earl escaped and ran amok on the street for three or four minutes until he got afraid he wasn't going to get to go for a ride and I was able to capture him and throw him back in the backyard. Randi, she doesn't really mind being separated from Earl, but you'd think you were removing Earl's left kidney from the amount of crying he does when Randi is taken away from him. I am very, very happy to announce that all of Randi's hard work in the weight department has paid off and she lost 2.4 pounds. Yea Randi!! The vet said her ear was a gross, yucky mess and smelled very bad so they cleaned it up and sent her home with some cream and antibiotics. Then I called Pete and Steffi who came to help me get the dogs.

My sister's moving and can't keep her dogs. I didn't want either one of them to go to the pound so I said that I would take them. It's been some moments of stress and anxiety. Was I making the right decision? Was I going to be able to do this? Was I insane? I asked Pete and Steffi to help me because I was afraid that if I brought the "St. Bernard puppy" home and that it did not go well that I would be unable to do control it and I needed some expert dog advice. So last night me, Pete and Steffi went and got Shila and Chloe, the 2,000lb St. Bernard puppy.

Curious

I don't know why anyone would get a St. Bernard puppy. I understand why you would want to because I'm sure they're stinking cute when they're little, but anyone with any kind of common sense would realize that a St. Bernard puppy grows up to be a flippin giant. This dog makes Randi and Earl look like tea cup poodles. Last night we put Chloe and Shila in the Little Backyard and then one by one introduced Shila to the rest of the pack. As I expected, it went fine. Clark was excited to see his old friend and pretty much everyone ignored everyone else. Steffi suggested we wait until morning to introduce Chloe since she was 2,000lbs and was the wild card in this situation. This meant that Chloe was outside in the Little Backyard by herself. She wanted to be inside. She banged on the door. She climbed on the table. Randi and Earl whined at the door. I took a pain pill and locked me, Clark, Randi, Earl and Shila in my bedroom for the night.

This morning there was some more violent banging on the door and crying until I put one of Randi and Earl's shock collars on the 2,000lb St. Bernard puppy and used that to encourage her to stop. That was rather effective until the battery ran out on the collar. Luckily I have two so I can keep one constantly charged. Around 12:30 Pete came back over and we introduced Chloe to the rest of the Pack, one by one. It was all rather anti-climatic. Everyone was fine. We let them be outside together and then we let them be inside together and then all six of us watched The Real Housewives of Atlanta together calmly, like any normal family. Clark seems to be the most affected; growling and quivering in the corner most of the time, but who wouldn't when faced with an animal six times your size. (It's rather reminiscent to how Randi and Earl treated Sarah, only Clark doesn't have Sarah's sunny disposition.) Shila's been mostly on her own program, doing what she does best: sleeping or making pig sounds to indicate her contentedness.

Making friends

For now Chloe and Shila are going to live in the Little Backyard when I'm not here and everyone else will be in the Big Backyard. We may try everyone sleeping in the house tonight. And once Chloe's spayed this week then we'll start looking for a home for her because while she's a very nice, sweet, loving dog I still have some common sense left.