Fake Valentines

On Thursday I got presents from my fake husband at school.  

When I arrived there was a heart of fish on my desk.  I felt pretty special until I realized that Gretchen had received the same gift.  While it's fine for him to have a real wife, I have to draw the line at fake polygamy.

Knowing my fake husband's like of goldfish crackers I had already made him this card:

Possibly encouraged by a student who may or may not understand the exact fakeness of our relationship, my fake husband brought me a flower and chocolate and was terribly disappointed that I was not in my room in front of all of my students so that he could get down on one knee and ask me to be his valentine in front of everyone.  (I was glad for small miracles because I would have turned super red.)  Earlier in the day someone had sent me a "singing gram" and I had to suffer through three high school boys singing me some corny love song from a secret admirer.  Awkward.

I also got this card in my mailbox, clearly made by a three year old without the attention span to spell out Valentine's.

This was not my gift, but this guy was the best behaved student all day.

After work I went to see my real valentine who has been super sick and who had to get an antibiotic shot three days in a row and who has double ear infections and who has been throwing up all week.   I thought that my gift of Mr. Potato Head would make him feel better, and it did for about 30 seconds.  What did make him feel better was trying out his stuntman moves.  Me and my dad thought it was hysterical, which is why my mom declared Max needed a bath so she could leave the room and ignore me and my dad.