Training

Thursday I went to Baby Boot Camp at my mother's house where I received instruction in these Baby Subjects:

• getting the baby out of the thing that sits on the table and vibrates (take his feet out of the harness first before trying to remove the baby because his feet get stuck otherwise)
• preparing baby bottles (including sanitizing the can of baby formula and can opener, as well as heating the bottle up by using hot water from the sink - do this twice, shaking the bottle in between)
• changing diapers (poopy and non-poopy - poppy diapers require four baby wipes and must be disposed of outside of the house so they don't stink up the room or get eaten by a dog)
• swaddling the baby (do not swaddle his arms because he likes his arms out)
• feeding the baby
• burping the baby
• helping the baby with the hiccups
• calming the baby
• dressing the baby
• undressing the baby
• getting Grandma to stop talking and take a nap

I have not had training in:

• putting the baby in the car seat
• putting the baby in the car
• taking the baby out of the car
• taking the baby out of the car seat
• washing the baby's clothes
• putting the baby in the stroller
• pushing the baby in the stroller

I don't want to sound like the teacher's pet, but I think I aced Baby Boot Camp and feel pretty confident that if I had to watch the baby, I could get him fed, changed and asleep with reasonable success.

The Baby.

Not the baby, but just as cute.