Grapes

Since I can't bend, I can't pick things up off the floor if I drop them. My mom's bought be a "pincher" which has come in handy in the bathroom every time the toilet paper comes off the goddamn hanger and falls on the floor which is every time I go to the bathroom. The pinchers aren't so good for super small things like the cap to the toothpaste which stayed on the floor until my mom picked it up this morning.

According to my mother, grapes are the absolute worst thing that a dog can eat. If a dog goes near a grape it is only a matter of time before the dog will die a horrible painful death. Unfortunately grapes are round and hard to hold on to and in the past five days I've dropped several grapes on the ground. Unable to retrieve them myself, I yell in the loudest voice that will make it so my dad hears my sarcastic panic, "OH MY GOD I DROPPED A GRAPE! DAD! A GRAPE! THE COUNTDOWN TO CERTAIN DEATH HAS STARTED. HURRY! BEFORE THE DOG WAKES UP AND DIES." He normally just sighs and then picks up the grape. The other day when I did this three times in a row, he picked up the grape and then came back with a bowl and said, "Put these in there so you don't drop them anymore."