This Is Your Brain

This is your brain on drugs:

Unbeknownst to me, in order to get on the bed during the non-daylight hours, there is a very small invisible opening and each dog must get on the bed through, what can only be described as the nighttime bed portal or certain death will await them. The portal is located on the right hand side of the bed and is only about a foot wide. The portal is only in effect during the night. During the day, the dogs are able to get on the bed from any direction. I don't understand what kind of Harry Potter Voodoo shit makes it so that the rest of the bed is off limits once the sun goes down. This is all fine and dandy if a dog has not already gone to sleep in the portal area as frequently happens. For example, last night Randi went to sleep next to me, taking up part of the magic portal and so Earl had to cry for 20 minutes while he tried to figure out how to get on the bed. Finally, he said, fuck it and jumped up, on top of Randi and laid down using her bottom half as a pillow until she got tired of that and wiggled off of the bed and then had to figure out how to get back on when Earl was sitting in the bed portal. So she jumped up on him and used him as a pillow. Heaven forbid anyone walk to the other side of the bed and get up over there.

Approximate location of nighttime bed portal in red.

(Ignore the bed. Too much work to make it right now.)